Last night I was able to attend our church prayer meeting with my family. I was so humbled by the Lord and His sovereignty in all things that today I just had to express my thankfulness to Him for all that He is and all that He does.
November is probably one of my most favorite months of the year for many reasons. It is the true beginning of Fall down here in Texas and I could live in cold weather ALL YEAR ROUND!!! I lived in KS for a year and I absolutely LOVED the actual winter season. Snow and all! But other then that, it is a perfect opportunity for us as Christian families to come together all month long and express the things that we are thankful for.
Recently in the past several months I have been experiencing some physical ailments. When I would allow myself to dwell on these issues I would be filled with fear and in turn experience anxiety attacks at times. I was not taking my thoughts captive as stated we are to do in the Word. I allowed my mind to run wild and not remembering the verse that says: "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity(fear), but of power and love and discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
It was something that I wasn't telling my husband about. I was keeping it all inside. It wasn't until one night I couldn't fall asleep and I laid thinking, concentrating, focusing on my ailment. I became so overwhelmed that I woke my husband up crying frantically saying, "I need you to pray with me. I scared!" Immediately I began regain composure and was fine. It wasn't until I allowed myself to be vulnerable to my husband by expressing my struggle to him that I began to experience some "relief".
One of the lessons that the Lord has been teaching me is that, no matter what, He is Sovereign. He is in total control. He is the giver and taker of life. It is only through Him that things are given and taken away. This is something that I had to learn to be ok with. That I'm not the One in control. I'm a steward of my home, I'm a steward of my belongings and money etc. My children have been entrusted to me, they are not my own. They we're given to me by Him. My husband is my leader, my head, the person that I am called to be a helpmeet to. The earth is not my home, I am a citizen of a different world and by no means should I long to be here more than I long to be there.
Last night at the prayer meeting, I just sat with my head in my hands sobbing and thanking the Lord for taking such time to remind me that He is Sovereign and that I need to live my life in accordance with that truth. Not allowing my thoughts to captivate me and lead me. I am so thankful for Jesus and what He did. When you think about how much you love your children and how much you care about them and how much you love your husband and how precious that relationship is between husband and wife, mother and child. Never forget how much more sweet the relationship between us and our heavenly Father is.
"Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow." - Psalm 144:4
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